flashbacks
i had a few chat with friends yesterday talking about someone who can
possibly open my 3rd eye. when suddenly something shook me, i was told
that someone or something wants in return to lose my memory from age
1-3 that made me think what precious memory i was keeping when i was
around that age. i then again made recollection of my past then
flashbacks came in wave by wave.
from age 7-9 i never really
tried reading my lessons in school, especially when i was 7. i was
already contented just getting a passing mark. never tried reviewing my
lessons. i took quizzes and major examinations with just whatever
lecture and whatever i thought i wrote in my notebooks (because i had difficulty reading what i wrote that time, i was writing as if i were scribbling until grade 3).
I had a crush from grade 1-6, she was my classmate only in grade 1, we
graduated in grade 6 and she’s our valedictorian. She’s now a doctor
and I doubt she has any idea that I exist. parati nya ko kinukurot nun dahil makulet akong bata.
when
i was around 5, i remember being scolded by my teacher in pre-school
coz i didnt know how to tie my shoelaces. i had a classmate named
Cedric so i stuck up on being called William to avoid confusion in
class. I found out that the biggest guy in class named Jerome Bautista
was just within the same village (me and my other friends would even
joke around that due to their family having lots of cars, its the
furniture inside their house that are gone). Alister Ruidera the
smartest in class… he reminded me of the late Bert "tawa" Marcelo for
some reason. I had this classmate who used to wear rubber shoes
everyday. His name was Michael. I had a crush named Antonette Mendoza
who later on became my classmate in elementary in another school and in
high school, whose mom was our grade 6 terror MAPE teacher. grabe no? at the age of 6 natuto na ko magkaron ng crush hehe
But
then this is what the issue is all about… my memory from age 1-3…
what was in that memory that these entities would demand in return?
Sunshine spoke about stuff of innocence, a man’s building block and
foundation of how a person should become, purity. these elements wanted
more but i’ll have to figure out what they want else. their reason,
there is none in my lineage who possesses the gift. i’ll talk about the
2nd demand some other time.
i
remember it well when i thought about a few things… everything around
me was quite gloomy (maybe it was the rainy season). the feeling was
surreal and thought came in to me, a doubt, the feeling of being
trapped. the feeling of wanting to get out of a prison cell. i just
realized yesterday what i was asking myself when i was a kid "why can’t i move freely? why do i feel like i’m so trapped in an armor or a clothing? why do i feel like i’m alone?".
i, then wanted to break free… but i couldn’t, i was hoping then that
everything was just a dream, hoping that one day when i wake up
everything will be back to what i thought was normal.. a free spirit.
thinking about it yesterday.. i just realized, i was wondering why i
was trapped in a physical body. Sunshine tried to theorize, i might
have finished a full circle. i might be a high being.
now it
makes me wonder… what if im just a new born soul? now i need someone
who can tell me who i was? was i famous? rich? a king? knight? lord?
hero? warrior? a necromancer? a druid? one of the gods? why do i think
like this? what am i? what was i? who was i?
*alright.. wake up*
